Dee's Blog Bit

I'm tired today, but feeling relatively good.
I don't know if it's the effects of radiotherapy making me tired, some of the ridiculously late nights I've been having, or a mixture of both.
The late night are probably not helping, but the people I talk to on these late nights, are what's helping me to stay feeling relatively good.. it's a trade-off.

My 4th radiotherapy session was today.  It should have been the sixth session, but two were cancelled, due to the machine breaking down.  I now have to go on Saturday this week (because of the machine arsing up), so I only get Sunday off.

Sitting in the waiting room today, with my dad, we had a little chat about birthdays.  It's my mums soon, then my dad's 60 in March, and I'm 30 in April.  We mentioned that I'm half my dads age this year, and it took all I'd got to stop myself snivveling in front of all the people in the waiting room.
I focused firmly on the tv, which was showing Fern and Philip, or someone similar, talking about handbags, or something similar.  I stared at that screen and forced the tears back to whence they came.

My dads feelings in all this, are still the most difficult thing for me to deal with.  From when I first had to tell him I had cancer, up until now, having to put my dad through this is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
He mentioned the lump I'd found near my wrist, a few days ago.  I tried to play it down, saying I'm sure it's nothing sinister.  I hope it isn't but I can't help worrying.  This is another of those things I'd have never thought twice about before the whole cancer thing, now it's something I'm paranoid about.

My car needs cleaning.  It looks like a pile of mud, rather than the sexy blue convertible that it is.  I'm a disgrace to my MG!
I knew I should've cleaned it yesterday, when it was cold, but the sun was out.  It's just freezing out there now, and I'm so tired, I'd probably fall asleep whilst lathering up the bonnet!

Still, spring's on it's way.. the seasons keep on changing, regardless of what's happening in my life, and they'll carry on doing so, no matter what happens.  The hard top will be coming off my car soon, and it'll be returned to it's wonderous convertible glory!  I'm looking forward to driving around in the sun, with the roof down and music playing.. but it really does need cleaning!